Small Things
by Miss Doll
Summary: It was really just the small things that were bothering them; slightly yaoi


Small Things

I do not own Death Note, nor its characters.

The world was unreasonably small, at least, in Beyond's point of view. He was staring out the window at some birds twittering away like idiots and felt vaguely like throwing the phone at them. They were so happy. They didn't deserve to be so happy; they should have been singing sorrowful tunes, like the ones that played in his mind now. Beyond glared at the birds. Their joy stung his heart and ears and they continued to flap their wings loudly at the window.

"Hrm, B…"

Beyond looked over at the tossing and turning bed sheets and smiled cruelly. Ah, so the princess neared his awakening. Perhaps a kiss would break the spell. He shuffled over to the bed and leaned down to the face covered partially by the tope covers. He kissed the petal pink lips before him and within a moment, they parted in a yawn. His eyelids lifted to reveal caramel eyes that glowed warmly. The cheeks of the sleeping princess now colored at the sight of his lover's face above him. He frowned. B wasn't supposed to still be here. Usually he left, early every morning, because they were always next to a window and B had always desperately hated windows. Too sunny he said, reminded him of the world outside and he didn't need to be reminded of that anymore than he had to be.

"Light seems surprised that he has woken up to me. Is this a strange occurrence for him?"

Light smiled sadly and nodded his head. It was like this when B asked him things or when he asked B things. B pretended he didn't know, so that Light would have to explain it. Secretly, Light thought that B just liked hearing him tell stories of all the mean things he'd done to Light. After all, B liked to hear people say how terrible he was. It gave him some sort of thrill to hear things like that.

B was bad to him, but he was nice when he wanted to be and when he was nice, Light liked to think that made up for being bad. But B was awfully bad for small spurts of niceness to cover the wounds his meanness left. It was in B's nature to be bad and not care if it hurt other people and it was in Light's nature to pretend that B cared about him and his feelings, when they both knew they were wrong.

"Well," Light said sleepily to Beyond, "You don't often stay to wake me up. You usual leave me here in this big bed all by my lonesome and then I have to clean up our mess. It's just how you do things, in such a rude fashion," here his voice was becoming teasing, "because you don't seem to care about any one but yourself. So yes, this kissing and waking me up business is quite strange for you B. Quite strange indeed." Beyond nodded, outlining Light's jaw with his finger and putting the barest amount of pressure on his chin. He wasn't really listening. He didn't do that often either. He would just allow Light to talk and then kiss him and tell him he whole heartedly disagreed, just to see Light's face crumble a bit. It was sick, he knew, to want to make his lover sad, instead of happy, but Light's sadness was far more attractive to Beyond then his happiness. Besides, Beyond didn't much care about Light's feelings anyhow. He didn't even care for Light altogether that much (a lie, he knew, but he told it to himself and Light to make it hurt less and, contradictingly, worse when Beyond decided to move somewhere new to find a new thing to interest him) and was just biding his time until something else came over the horizon.

Acknowledging that Light had finished, Beyond proceeded to tell Light that he disagreed completely with that statement.

"Oh really? How many times have you in fact stayed to help me B?"

Beyond took one of Light's fingers and began to nibble on it thoughtfully.

"I would believe that comes to an exact total of zero Light. If my calculations are correct."

"They are correct. You have never stayed until morning. You always leave me here with those stupid birds twittering around like idiots at the window. It makes me sad that they're so happy out there, while I'm inside with nothing but a bunch of empty blankets and jar of jam, strawberry jam." Light looked sadly at the jam that sat on the table, It was red, or maybe pink, and the rays of sun reflected off it, making the table look like it was sprayed with drying blood. Stupid birds, he though as he forced his tears to retreat back into his ducts. B wouldn't care if he cried, but all the same, he didn't want B to see him cry. He didn't want to show B he had emotions, that he was human, because he felt like if he wasn't a mystery, B would leave him, this time forever. He could live without B now, in a small apartment with a window with those birds calling him out. Why go out when all the sunshine I need is here, B would say to Light's question of why he didn't like the outside.

Beyond nodded again and put Light's hand down. It was covered in spit, but Light didn't wipe it off. He got up from the bed and looked at the window.

"I wonder why they always are so happy. What is there to be happy about, in this world, in this place where people are so strange and interesting and dim-witted? What makes them love the sun and its rays of light?"

Light bit his lip and turned to look at B.

"I suppose that they just don't know, or maybe they are pretending not to. Maybe the sun is the only way they can be happy, because it's the only thing that seems safe for them. The only thing that won't become a variable and change on them quickly. The sun will never change; it will always be there, no matter what."

Beyond, to his own surprise, got up and walked over to Light in the bed and kissed him on the lips, sweet and passionate. It was like a need fulfilled, for when he removed his lips from Light's, he felt a dim sense of calm wash over him. He lied down next to Light and held the boy close to his chest, skimming the sides of Light's naked flesh with his fingers. Light huddled closer to him and Beyond enjoyed for a moment the sense of another person's presence. But only for a moment, for after that he was dreadfully uncomfortable.

Light held on to what little bit of B he had left, because he knew it was coming sooner than later. He heard a sigh come from the man and snuggled closer. Gone, faster than the blink of an eye…

"I have to be going now Light. There are things I need to do."

Light nodded quietly, but did not move. The birds were even quiet now, as if they wanted to se what happened next so badly that they stopped their infernal twitting to hear.

Beyond tapped his fingers on Light's head and played with a few strands of his hair.

"Does Light want me to stay?"

Light nodded.

"Even if he knows I will only be mean and bad and rude to him? Even if I will hurt him?"

Light nodded.

Beyond sighed and stayed where he was, twirling Light's hair back and forth in his fingers. He watched as the boy fell back asleep and marveled at how delicate his throat was. So easily he could break it, so easily he could, in fact, break the whole boy. Yet he didn't, because he hadn't tired of him yet. Not yet at least, but he suspected the time was drawing close that Light would be just another fun trip in his past, no matter how tightly the boy held on. That was what Beyond did, whether he knew it or not. He broke things and left them without fixing so that they stayed like that forever, wretched little things, messed up and unable to put themselves back together again. He hoped, somewhere in the back of his messed up head, that Light would stay pretty, even when he was a broken mess, so that Beyond could come back one day and maybe fix him. Beyond wasn't sure though, because when he tried to fix things, they were often worse then they were before.

Maybe Light would be strong enough to stay whole. Light was different from the other things Beyond had broken. He was fragile, yet tough and could be just as mean, rude, and bad as Beyond, if he wanted to be, but he wasn't and that was why Beyond would eventually shatter him. He had never been good with pretty things, always roughing them up and leaving them all in disarray. That was what Light would be soon, a roughed up pretty thing that Beyond threw away because he no longer had interest in him.

The strawberry jam glinted murderously on the table as pieces of toast lay on a plate, limp and somewhat soggy, knowing they were forgotten and unwanted.

The birds began to sing again, even though it was reaching the hours of noon and they seemed to be calling Beyond and Light out. Beyond shook his head and looked at his lover with his red, red eyes, thinking of how he didn't need the sunshine outside when his Light shone so brightly in here.

the end

A.N. I know that it was rather ooc of Beyond, but I needed a break from funny cute (No matter how cute it is, I need to write something else.) and, surprisingly, L. I write that everyday. I needed something new!

Anyhoo, I suppose I shall explain; Light and Beyond are going on secret tryst during Beyond's time in Japan and Light knows Beyond as the detective BB. Whom he refers to as B more often than not. They have been carrying this out for a number of days, but Beyond has a history of forgotten lovers and Light isn't eager to become another face in Beyond's memory.

Sooo, I just wrote a little one shot about the morning and the thoughts of Beyond and the thoughts of Light and the thoughts of the birds. It isn't perfect, I know, some parts a slightly askew in a manner that finds one wondering what it means, but I guess that's how I often write. Barely understandable, with a hint of interesting side conversation thrown in to keep the attention of the reader.

I'm actually a little frightened posting this, since it's so very new and I'm not quite sure about everything, but I never am, so be kind when you review please? Thank you.

please review…


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